Show Me Your Friends, I’ll Show You Your Future…

I can still hear my dad, clear as day, telling me, “Show me your friends, I’ll show you your future.”

The book of Proverbs puts it this way:
“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” (Proverbs 13:20)

Friendships shape the way our kids see themselves, the choices they make, and the direction they go. As parents, one of the most important ways we can steward their hearts is by helping them choose and become the right kind of friends.

The FRIEND Test

A simple way to guide your children is by asking: What makes a good FRIEND?

F – Faithful (Proverbs 17:17)
A true friend is loyal and trustworthy. Do they only show up when it’s fun, or do they walk with your child through struggles, too?

R – Respectful (Philippians 2:3)
Good friends show humility and kindness. Watch how a potential friend talks to their parents, teachers, or siblings. It’s often a window into how they’ll treat your child.

I – Influential (1 Corinthians 15:33)
Friends always influence one way or another. Do these relationships push your child toward Christ, or pull them away? Pay attention to shifts in behavior like sass, secrecy, or disrespect. Influence is already at work.

E – Encouraging (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
After spending time with this friend, does your child feel stronger in who God made them to be or smaller? Good friends build up instead of tearing down.

N – Nurturing (Hebrews 10:24)
A healthy friendship spurs growth. Does this friend inspire creativity, kindness, and service? Or do they drag your child backwards?

D – Disciplined (Proverbs 12:26)
A wise friend makes careful choices and respects boundaries. Do they encourage compromise when it comes to schoolwork, purity, or media, or do they help your child stay strong?

Why This Matters for Parents

Kids often can’t see how deeply friends are shaping them, but we can. That’s why it’s not “helicopter parenting” to ask questions, meet your child’s closest friends, and pay attention to the values of their families. It’s stewardship.

Because in the end, friendships don’t just impact where your child is today. They help determine who they are becoming.

So guide them. Pray with them. And show them what it means to be a faithful, respectful, influential, encouraging, nurturing, and disciplined friend.

Because the friends our children choose today are shaping the men and women they’ll become tomorrow.