“Teach Your Kids Some Manners!” A Lesson in What People Don’t See

I was in Aldi with my kids when it happened.

We were nearing the end of the grocery run… you know, the part where patience thins and carts get heavier. My three-year-old was squirming, and my five-year-old was “helping” and nearly tipping the cart, and I had reached that stage of mental math where you're counting items, not calories.

Then it happened. One of my kids bumped a shelf and knocked a giant pillow off the shelf.

It wasn’t malicious. It wasn’t destructive. It was just one of those clumsy, childlike moments that feel louder and bigger when you’re already overstimulated.

That’s when I heard her:
“Teach your kids some manners!”
Her voice was sharp. Her tone, unmistakable.

And suddenly, I wasn’t just juggling groceries and kids, I was juggling shame, frustration, and the urge to explain everything she hadn’t seen.

What She Didn’t See

She didn’t see the hours we’ve spent pouring into these kids… correcting, guiding, praying, discipling. She didn’t see the breakfast devotion we squeezed in that morning, the family conversation about patience and kindness, or the whispered prayer I said in the car before we walked in.

She didn’t see the tears they’ve cried when they’ve hurt someone’s feelings or the joy when they’ve shown kindness without being asked.

She saw a moment.
We’re raising a life.

Parenting in Public

Parenting in public is a vulnerable thing. You're always one meltdown away from a stranger’s judgment. One sibling argument from an unsolicited comment. One toppled shelf away from someone questioning your character as a parent.

But here’s what God reminded me as I drove home that day, both wounded and reflective:

“The Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
(1 Samuel 16:7)

God sees the unseen work.

The late-night prayers. The quiet consistency. The everyday correction that feels like it isn’t working — but is.

And not just in our kids. In us, too.

What Parenting Is Actually About

That comment wasn’t just about my kids. It was an invitation to remember what this is all about.

Parenting isn’t just about shaping children who behave well in public.
It’s about shaping hearts that reflect Jesus, even when no one’s watching.

That doesn’t always look neat. Sometimes it looks like chaos with a cart. But beneath that is the real, sacred work: the day-in, day-out discipleship that no one applauds but heaven notices.

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
(Hebrews 12:11)

So If You’ve Been There…

To the parent whose child was loud, or messy, or clumsy at the wrong moment —
To the one who walked away wondering if someone thought less of you —
To the one holding it all together with one hand and steadying the cart with the other…

You’re seen. And not just by strangers.
By the God who entrusted you with those little hearts.
By the Savior who knows what unseen obedience looks like.
By fellow parents who get it.

You are not failing.
You are forming.

One imperfect, grace-filled trip at a time.